LiveJournal for holylucifer.

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Monday, May 4th, 2009

Subject:It's just that simple...
Time:12:26 am.
Mood: pensive.
geography and names. Just need to figure out geography and names. The rest of it is simple as pie. Now if only romance were this simple..
Comments: Add Your Own.

Friday, April 24th, 2009

Subject:I would love to put this analogy in a story at some point...
Time:9:31 pm.
Mood: tired.
"It's like replacing a 60's supercomputer with a bear. Sure the super computer isn't mobile, and it's not going to be as fast as current as a modern computing machine, but none of these are fixed by exchanging it for an angry grizzly."

"But you've got to admit, the bear is cuter..."
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Thursday, April 23rd, 2009

Time:2:10 am.
Mood: cynical.
My computer is dying. No two ways about it. Today alone I've had to use the task manager 3 times. I can no longer shut down voluntarily, I instead have to unplug the computer or wait for a system restart, and allow the timer to run out. The screen is broken down one side, so it looks like someone spilled ink in a big splotch on the right of the screen, and it's run to the edges. My hard drive is full, and I have to delete things when I want to update software. I am currently running without access to the start menu or the desktop because I didn't know why error messages kept popping up, and I closed the wrong system process. The only way I got Firefox working is by accessing it through the task manager's option for "new process."

My Dell has lasted me a strong 3 years, never failed me for a report, and very rarely crapped out at a crucial moment without just cause. It's simply time to upgrade, and move on. As soon as I can afford it, I'm going to buy a new computer. Preferably another laptop, but this time with cooling vents on the sides and top so I can keep it on my bed (apparently the only flat surface in my house not claimed by others or cluttered beyond recognition).

This is not a threat, or a rant so much as a promise and a reminder that my computer is no longer servicing my needs to its maximum efficiency.

That being said, I'm going to unplug my computer, and hope nothing important gets broken in the process. (For a geek, I'm fairly computer stupid)
Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.

Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009

Subject:If I were truly falling...
Time:12:33 am.
Mood: annoyed.
Wouldn't my heels be over my head?
Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.

Sunday, April 19th, 2009

Time:1:50 pm.
Mood: happy.
My first day of work was very fulfilling. If it keeps going like it did tonight, then I will be a very happy, and loyal employee.
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Saturday, April 18th, 2009

Subject:weekend update?
Time:9:03 pm.
Mood: awake.
-went north for a visit

-Joey was busy, couldn't play any of his games (again :( )

-Justin, Sharpie, Jenn, and Hope were a lot of fun to hang out with. Might add more on the interesting group dynamics going on right now later.

-Got a call on Friday that I need to be back Saturday for my first day of work.

-home now, working at 11 tonight until 7 tomorrow morning.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Wednesday, April 15th, 2009

Subject:Hagnk's in Trouble! Quickly, Robin! To Kingston!
Time:1:24 am.
Mood: curious.
Nate and I went down to Kingston today in order to help Liz with her car. Hagnk (the car) had lost the charge in his battery, and couldn't start. The attempts to convince him otherwise were fruitless. We brought Liz to her mother's house, where we were given brownies. It was a fun trip, and we got to talk about his upcoming Hunter game. It's got me really excited.

I've been seriously considering getting back into online writing RPGs, but the lack of game structure I've found to be less appealing as time goes on, and applying rules to a forum RP takes more time than it's worth. I'm wondering if there's a happy medium; something accessible at any time, allows free form, but will keep my ideas for a powerful character in check. But then, I'm also worried about my waxing/waning interest in writing communities. The last three times I've tried to get back into the writing scene, I just drop it again a few days later.

Of coarse interest isn't the only constraint. Time will start being a factor as of next week, assuming all goes as planned tomorrow (technically today). As much as I'm looking forward to working, I'm also worried it will kill any free time I might have had. Still, it's only part time, so I'll have more time than most folks.

I'm also hoping I'm not called in before Monday, because I wanted to go visit the college this weekend. Of coarse that trip is not without worry, spring seems to be the season of breaking up, and helping my friends through their emotional troubles always brings it's mix of joy and regrets.
Comments: Read 6 or Add Your Own.

Tuesday, April 14th, 2009

Time:10:44 am.
Mood: nostalgic.
2 and a half years later, I come back to this place where I left behind so many bittersweet memories. Would any of you recall who I am? And even if you did, would I still be the person you remember? It matters very little, really.

Always in need I come here. Never sharing the greatest of triumphs, and always crawling back for the worst of times. A poor friend to this place I've been, and I make no promises, or apologies. It's only a place. But maybe I will come here now, when times are looking forward. When life is not at it's darkest. Perhaps stay to share a triumph or two. Only hope, not promises.

So what has happened? I graduated. Perhaps to sum it up more correctly, I became enwrapped in a group I despised, which grew around me into something wonderful I was able to finally enjoy. The clubs I blindly stuck with held to fruition, giving me possibly some of the best friends I've had in my life. Then I graduated.

After that things went downhill. Applications in law enforcement cost money. 100 dollars for the state police exam, and if you fail, they'll not hear from you again until you pay them again. Not my idea of a healthy correspondence. But this is the job market I graduated into. I lived with my family, feeling like a mooch. Feeling lower and lower. I found the bottom. I know it was the bottom because I know I'll never be back there again. I'm on medication to make sure I never get there again. I went through courses to make sure I didn't end up there again. I'm getting counseling to ensure I don't end up there again. It was the bottom. And I am not going back.

Not a week later, I was able to get an interview, and two more after that, a promising job offer. A week more and it brings me to now, awaiting the last pieces of paper to fall into place before I can get fitted for a uniform, and begin a professional life.

And now I can give back.
Comments: Read 12 or Add Your Own.

Saturday, December 16th, 2006

Subject:Swimming in the deep end...
Time:4:24 am.
Well, I figured out an eloquent way to put into words what I want most. The opportunity arose, and my mind stole it. It is now in the archives of my computer, which will inevitably be destroyed, and the hard drive ruined by some unfortunate accident before I ever decide to share it beyond that lonely file.

This is life. We have a goal sometimes. Mostly unclear, and always unattainable, but we have a goal. Sometimes...
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Wednesday, November 15th, 2006

Time:3:20 pm.
O FortunaCollapse )

Jon's outline of the prequils as according to him is amazing. I can't wait for him to start writing. And if he doesn't I probably will. It's too good not to explore further. For those who don't read his Journal, the link is below. If I were writing it, I would probably start at the end and work my way backwards, scene by scene, starting with the conversation between Qui-Gon and Obi Wan where they "Verbally Wrestle." That way, when aluding to things, I'd know to add it to the story later when I'm writing it. This is obviously something Lucas himself forgot to do when writing the original trilogy.

The HAX Infernomancer
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Monday, November 13th, 2006

Time:9:41 pm.
Mood: amused.
I'm currently reading through the Nuwisha book (werecoyotes for you non-WoD folk), and I can't stop thinking of how much it reminds me of BEC. The Nuwisha are known for being tricksters, and immitation of others, and overall craftiness.

One picture in particular shows two Garou (werewolves) and a Nuwisha. The Garou facing the edge of the panel, and the one on the left holding a blood covered axe and snarling. Behind them, further to the left, is the Nuwisha, tongue sticking out the side of his gawking mouth, cross-eyed, holding a stick in a perfect mock stance of the Garou with the axe.

All I could think was "I could sooo see Al doing that in that exact situation."
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Friday, November 10th, 2006

Subject:New World of Darkness Vices and Virtues
Time:8:36 am.
Mood: contemplative.
Applying to myself the vices and virtues of the World of Darkness system. Something of a role playing mechanic to make the character seem more real, is to choose one that most personifies your character. It might give me a little insight to myself, and maybe it'll do the same for you. If you feel like doing the same, go for it. If you don't feel like wasting the time on the long one, just write out your own greatest virtue, and your greatest vice. Figuring that out is really the only point of the rest of it.

Abandon All Hope, You Who Enter HereCollapse )

For me, I would name Sloth my vice, and Prudence my virtue. However, I can understand how any set up might work out, and better, how these flaws and strengths would make them human.

The Roleplaying Infernomancer

PS, Josh, Thanks for the Music
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Tuesday, October 31st, 2006

Time:5:38 pm.
Mood: awake.
Hate is 6892 ms Latency and an angry 38 tigress munching on my warlock...

Love is still winning because the Voidwalker never lost aggro because I wasn't hitting.
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Friday, October 27th, 2006

Time:6:08 am.
Mood: afraid.
WARNING: Do not click the below image unless you are sick, deranged, twisted, wrong, and totally totally prepared for what is behind that. Note that his is a repost of Astral Fire's "WTF" But seriously, beware the picture that lies below. I seriously only expect Josh to click on this, but I share it to all who dare, but to all who dare, you have been forewarend that it is wrong, nasty, horrible, crude, and so very very disgusting.
Comments: Read 9 or Add Your Own.

Thursday, October 26th, 2006

Subject:Where did THAT come from?
Time:5:04 pm.
Mood: aggravated.
The woman with the spear was coming for me. I was unarmed, and knew that even if I killed her, more would come. Reasoning might not work, she doesn't know my language, but perhaps the intonation would save me. I began to speak what I thought might be the last words of my life. "So the only one being hurt here is BG Master" I said. She simply nodded her head, and ceased her attack. Despite the fact that this person didn't know BG Master, nor was he present at the time. Nor had he been there, nor did he show up any time later. Nor do I believe she understood what I said until an undeniably english -man's- accent replied from her mouth "Too true, too true."

This was the most coherant thing I remember from my dream last night.

God Damnit. I am SO tired of being sick. I've been sick since sunday night, and while I'm more pissed that I missed class for the above bullshit, a little continuity from my dreams would be really nice about now.
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.

Thursday, October 19th, 2006

Subject:So there was a wedding
Time:2:05 am.
Mood: irritated.
So... Yeah... I suppose this is where I talk about Am-chan's wedding. This is where I talk about how beautiful it was, how long we'd waited, and how I feel lonely because I don't have a girlfriend.

As much as the topics above would bore me, I think I'd rather just say I have far less respect for a select few friends of my brother for their actions in specifically not attending the wedding due to their opposition to my brother getting married. Names will not be named, but I am EXTREMELY disappointed, because my brother considered one his BEST friend, and he refused to go because he dislikes Amanda. If Nate can forgive them, I suppose I will too. Eventually. Maybe.

So yes, it was beautiful, and informal. Far better weather than we could have hoped for, especially considering there was not a cloud in the sky, and the forecast called for rain all day. The JP was a silly guy who wore a kilt, My cousin Analise caught the bouquet, and Josh (Manjaro) "caught" the garter (He picked it up off the ground after all of us stood there and stared at it). My friends enjoyed it and I got to know each of them a little better. Nate and Tim (Elleghost, the maid of honor guy from Warcraft) got better at SSBM (They can beat me when on a team now ;p).

Also, this was the most informal wedding I've ever been to. Nate was in a kilt, Amanda in a black and purple dress, Tim wearing a suit that looked like it was from a gangster movie, plus a feather in the hat, and me in a hawaiian shirt, and an obviously clipped on tie.

Oh yeah. I don't have a significant other. Woe is me. Angst angst angst. I'm allowed to keep my Live Journal now.

Good wedding, good food, good weather, bad people for not showing some respect for N8... yeah, that's about the total of it.

The Tired Infernomancer
Comments: Read 8 or Add Your Own.

Wednesday, October 4th, 2006

Subject:Warning: Political Content
Time:5:07 pm.
Mood: anxious.
Shade the eyes of the innocent and the disinterestedCollapse )

~the CORRUPT infernomancer
Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.

Tuesday, October 3rd, 2006

Subject:So I'm in the Sci-Fi/Fantasy club..
Time:1:03 am.
Mood: creative.
and I'm designing an advertising campaign for them. Has nothing to do with my major, has nothing to do with my interest or love for the club. It's more about the fact that they're letting me put up posters with almost anything I want (within sci-fi origins), and some unknown insomnia is fueling my imagination.

That being said, the following may be detrimental to your mental health. Not only are they pure crap, they act like they're funny, when they're really not.

And the current Favorite:

Just bought extra space on filespace. I'm sure Brent will hate me soon for hosting this crap on his servers. Not this specifically, more the collage I did for FPCtv that's 2.36mb, which is worse than the combined sum of garbage above, but have to show to the club at the next meeting. My goal is to have three people vomit. Wish me luck.

I love plaguing the world. :D
Comments: Read 7 or Add Your Own.

Monday, August 7th, 2006

Subject:Otakon 2006 Review (I know at least two on my friends list went)
Time:12:52 am.
Mood: contemplative.
Otakon is not like a big group, you don't just go there! It's a series of lines! And when you clutter up those lines, it clutters up the entire otakon! And when those lines get cluttered up, they disrupt the entire otakon! And what happens to your own personal otakon? I just went to otakon on Thursday, and I just got home yesterday! Why? Because I got tangled up with all these fans going to otakon personally! So you wanna talk about Otakon, let's talk about you and me!

Details,Collapse )
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.

Tuesday, April 11th, 2006

Subject:The difference between great men and failures like myself
Time:11:56 pm.
Mood: drained.
Get up and go to class. I don't wanna go. Just do it, You'll fail if you don't. Get there, get it over with done already that was fast. Breakfast would be nice. Eat like the fat pig you are. hmm.. fun. I'm done. not hungry anymore, but they have the rice krispees. hey, why not, obese is the term they already use, so why not. Get me going, get back hmmm a little Suikoden before the paper. stop at 10:30, then write the paper. maybe noon, maybe 2, yeah two, stop sit, get writing better check the comics. Familiar comfortable. All turns out well in the end. hmm... well time for class get there get back be done with it. I smell. I always smell. I could wash myself for days and never be rid of that damn scent I start to smell only when I'm in class next to a girl, or some jock I don't know. Sit in the corner, I'll be fine over there. Class is packed, but they'll leave me be. It's rude to point it out, so I'll save face today. I guess... back home not homa A-frame. looks like a home, smells like a garbage dump, and welcomes like a screen accepts a bug. Boy I feel at home here. Where I belong after all. get to work get to work can't concentrate read a comic. archive. relax. won't load... won't load. Can't get in barred from the comfort allowed to think thinking about me thinking about how I'm messing up gotta stop but just one more just one more it's 9 pm I need to work papers due can't be late. get it done get it done I can't do it. I know the stuff, but nothing I put down comes out right. it conveys but it lacks everything. I'll get Cs on this but I need As to pass. gotta pass gotta pass gonna pass gonna pass out. Tired. Tired. need sleep. I hate this shell, but I lack the strength to penetrate it. Go online can't go to bed thinking like that, talk to someone, you helped them they can help you. They don't understand, but they'll always listen. But they'll listen, and shake their head. "He's too weak. He's such a kid. Needs to grow up and take some responsibility. needs to get organized." Easy for them I can't remember where I put my talent, my intellect, may force of will and personality. I put it down, and it just vanished. I need it back. I need to be something, but I can't find what it was where it went what I'm doing. Everything was easy when I had it, but it's gone and it's been gone and I begin to doubt I ever had it. The egg fell and scrambled inside the shell, ready to be cracked but left to spoil. But if I tell them, they'll offer sympathy, and help me more and I'll be more insufficient than ever. Or worse yet, they finally decide you're not worth the price and let you fall. Save the net for later. build more of a net for later. how much can I build while I fall? and will it still save me while I avoid it? No. no no no no no no no no tap tap tap tap tap it's all there blurring together. worthless nervous wreck. open the book global economy see how the world becomes flat and you become replacable. They'll come and take your job and you'll be useless. no need to keep it. it's more expensive. I'm an it now. If I could find that spark I could be formidable again. It's gone. The flint wore out, the steel rusted, and you're left with wet leaves and sticks in the pouring rain. the drops fall on my head. I'm in the shower. need to go to class. it's morning again and nothing got done yesterday, but today... today I'll do something. right after class...

Yes, I realize any of you could tell me the answer. It's right there. but it's the water to my chopstick. the car to the infant. closed window before the blind man who wishes to experience the outside. Within my capacity, but beyond my contents.
Comments: Read 7 or Add Your Own.

LiveJournal for holylucifer.

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